Chipping Away at My Roadblocks

     I had the delightful experience of seeing a picture of a small boy wearing a pair of PJ's I included in a small box of odd things I still had the tags on. I had extra things, as a result of those 3 pair packages with duplicate colors (big bargains on Amazon), which ended up having one extra that never got out of the original package.
     That box was given to a young man who helped me with an odd job and a dump run yesterday. His wife sent me a picture of their son waving at me wearing the PJ's with a smile that looked like it was Christmas for him. I'm realizing I hold onto some things because I don't know who needs them, but, more personalized evaluation reveals, not sure why - but want to let it go, I want to see who gets the things - but, I don't want them to know where the things came from (dilemma? or massive roadblock?)
     This is calling me in for some deeper exploration. Shopping bans don't always mean 'no shopping' but they do mean 'nothing new for myself - purchased with my own money' except for the approved list I created BEFORE the year started. I put gifts for my children and grandchildren (reasonable-utilitarian-thoughtful- $25 or under each That's seven gifts pre-approved and I'm guessing 
     I've exhausted their desire for wire art long ago lol)I've been good!! Only browsing a bit much a couple of times (Facebook Marketplace is the DEVIL hahaha), I quickly got to the thought 'why am I doing this to myself?' when at least 10 things (at garage sale prices) caught my attention. 

Let's keep decluttering and remembering the reason for the year of going deeper, 
Deb

2020 Day 23 My Depth Year Notes

2020 (Day 23) Depth Year Notes This year is my Depth Year. My 'Going deeper rather than wider for a year' year (i.e no new possessions, no added tools/books/supplies). Going deeper into what authentically-me art-creation means, no more making stuff I think I remember someone said would 'sell' and no more 'fitting' my art into the market. I will be utilizing the supplies, resources, and tools I already have in place (this part I'm vastly experienced at having created much out of little for most of my life). I am dedicated to the deeper goal of creating an accelerated mass shift to gradually minimalist. (I can hear it...this is in transition, and resistance is presenting with a loud voice) -- It looks/sounds like a more time-consuming task than it actually is 'in-the-moment' when I have 30-minute blocks carved out for each goal, each day, to make progress. Some days I delve in longer, but, in the big picture, these 30-minute blocks take about 10 minutes here-and-there scattered throughout the day in the midst of day-to-day self-care and caregiving. Time is already happening. I just decided to use it differently. When I might have bought a new kindle book...I'll sort books off the cloud I'll never read, and donate a few off my bookshelf. When I might have put a new something in the Amazon cart (and spent 30 minutes sifting through reviews so I get a relatively good one) I will repair what I already have or "LIVE without it" ;-) I would say the most challenging is living 24/7 with a change-resistant committee in my head. They're talking about me as if I've lost my mind. They have strategies to stop me from reaching my goal (well-meaning over protective rationalizing from the old perspectives). They'll get used to it. Eventually. In the meantime I'm listening closely, reframing perspective, and nurturing with ''This is fabulous progress...one-day-at-a-time" Create - Believe - Inspire Deb

2020 is My Year of Less

My Journey in 2020 begins...

There are many resolutions we have at our beaconing and many ideas have crossed my path over the past two months. The one I have chosen is inspired by The Year of Less by Cait Flanders. 

I have been decluttering for a couple of years. And, I'm happy with the progress I have made in the process. I have been studying minimalism for about one year and have been enticed by the freedom the practice would provide.

After a few searches and another recap on decluttering, I found Cait's book and was captured by her story. After some thought, exploring my current situation, and a quick inventory, I have decided this is the year of less for me.

Not surprisingly as soon as I decided I began to see many things I would like to purchase (primarily impulse and most of the things I don't know if I will actually even use). I followed through with a couple of purchases fully aware, fully awake, and noticed my personal shopping coma Cait mentions in her story.

I started denying myself when I wanted to buy a gallon of white glue for a project I have had in mind for the past week. I have a small container of white glue. The project I'm thinking of will take three times that. I have decided to put a gallon of white glue on my Approved List with the prerequisite that I will need to actually start the project and use what I have first before I buy more.

The Year of Less list includes creating a list of things it is okay to purchase (consumables such as food, toiletries, and day-to-day supplies), a list of things or services it is ok to purchase only if needed and the item cannot be repaired. My list would include prescription glasses, white glue, and necessities that need to be replaced but aren't repairable and I cannot live without. One way she recommends to know if something is a necessity is to try to live without it for 30 days then decide if it is essential.

Another list is my business expenses. I will allow myself the overhead currently in motion but will not allow anything 'new' no new services, no new ventures (unless they can be accomplished with existing resources), and at risk of another layer in the process shown to me today "going deeper" where it is recommended to spend the year going deeper into what is already underway, skills I have already started to learn and can practice them (rather than starting something new).

Another list is inventory and letting go of anything in excess. For example, I found another three pairs of jeans that need hemming. I put them in a pile to be hemmed. Continued to try on jeans. Found two pair almost exactly like those that need to be hemmed that don't need to be hemmed. So, the longer three pairs are going into the donation pile and will be given to the Hope Chest.

This theme of keeping things that need sewing or altering is going to come up many times as I take inventory of my wardrobe. And possibly other areas as well when things need to be repaired but I keep them anyway. I will be going through material belongings with a new perspective and letting go of anything taking up space without being used. Someone else can use it, or in the case of it needing repairing, it may be best to toss it.

Would I actually repair it if given that as the only option? Perhaps if I didn't already have enough functional items to use instead.

There are a few goals in this decision. One is to make space. Another is to not leave this 'stuff' for someone else to deal with. And, maybe the most concerning issue is a deep feeling something is going to change and I will need to be able to change venues quickly (which would be easier with some savings and less stuff).

My 2020 Resolution is to not buy anything new. To not hold on to anything not being loved and used. To not shift my impulsive behavior about 'things' shift to something else. Rather I will sit with each trigger as it is encountered and mindfully work through it to the root of the issue.

Some of these have already started to bubble up. Once upon a time I remember identifying to my core to the saying "I've done so much with so little for so long now I can do just about anything with absolutely nothing."  Deep down I felt deprived (this is also a deeper well to travel down - regarding worth and letting go of guilt for having anything). I felt as if being deprived was punishment. I spent so much time giving every little shred away to earn worthiness, I found myself constantly in need of something.

The past five years have been on the opposite side of the balance. I let go of feeling unworthy, began to give proportionally to my resources, found many situations where I would have nothing to put on a list of things I needed. A month or so ago someone asked what I wanted for Christmas and wouldn't let me not need anything. So, after a few tries, searching for anything I actually needed and would use, I said Pajamas. She bought three pair (all wonderful and my style) I've worn them every night.

The only reason I didn't have pajamas is I work from home and normally wear comfy clothes all day long, put on clean clothes after a midday shower (after chores), which generally means the clothes aren't even ready to be changed yet, so, at bedtime, they are my pajamas. It is nice (and a bit awkward) to join the rest of the culture who wears different clothing at night. It also gives me a good start on my 'capsule wardrobe' plans. Exactly how many pairs of sweatpants do I need?

At this moment it is eight hours before my year-of-less, the shopping ban (browsing ban - email discounts ad ban) begins. And I'm not going to shop. As I type I am cramped in between a desk and an art table (on a chair that spins from this to that), while mentally plotting my plan to end 2020 with Eight Boxes and one Suitcase of personal belongings and two bins of tools and creative supplies.

Brightest Blessings,
Deb

Life Energy Inside

It has been awhile since my last entry into this journal. The time goes by so quickly. Every now and then I wonder if I've overlooked an important task but, realize there are often other events, tasks, goals, and happenings which call me into other directions for awhile.

This journal has taken a few different turns along the way. What is amazing is how so often each new phase of my journey (personal and business) fits right into the process. Which is a hindsight 20/20 phenomenon of course. I set goals but the universe has even better in store for me than I am able to imagine.

Today I write to "Thank You" for your friendship and your inspiration. Life has been challenging and I have discovered more strength within myself than I had ever thought possible. That internal guidance system was buried under layers of dark clouds for awhile. What I didn't realize is those dark clouds weren't actually hiding the courage, strength, and wisdom within after all. The dark clouds (life's situation temporary distractions) have never been hiding anything. They have simply been distracting my focus.

If I continued to believe the dark clouds of life could possibly hide the courage, strength, guidance, and wisdom within, I may have never discovered the truth.

Distractions are on the outside.
Life energy is on the inside.

All we need to do is choose.

I may have believed I would need to make sense out of life, work my way ''through'' it, find a way to the other side, and then find or discover my internal strength. Maybe I needed to go through all of that in order to know for certain none of it was necessary.

There actually is a shortcut.
Close your eyes and be present now.

Life Energy Inside

Open your consciousness to be still within. It is within where I have discovered everything I have been seeking.

Thank You Carrie Wilkerson -- The Barefoot Executive

Deb Bryan and Carrie Wilkerson
November 15, 2008

Today I am thankful for Carrie Wilkerson (the Barefoot Executive) because the path I am on now is a direct result of meeting her four years ago.

We first met at Blueprint to Financial Freedom in November 2008

This morning I was remembering the first time Carrie asked me what I do for a living.  At the time I couldn't answer her.  I did too many things in a dozen or more areas.

Over time, learning from her, I have slowly narrowed my specialization as a virtual assistant.  I continue to narrow and refine regularly (quarterly at the least).  Specialization makes my life more organized.  My days more enjoyable and best of all I am working from home 100% now.

I am grateful because I know without Carrie's  kindness and generous coaching I would still be unable to answer her question.  I would still be chasing every dollar and working for someone else just to survive week to week.

Now... I screen clients.   I remembered something Carrie said about working with people.  Something like "would you invite that person to sit with your family for dinner" Up until that point I hadn't even thought about it.  I was focused on chasing the clients, rather than choosing who I want to work with.  What a difference!!!

I'll admit the first time she mentioned screening clients I thought that would kill my business.  Who turns away clients?  Well... I did it.  And today I work with a handful of amazing clients who appreciate my work and are grateful to work with me.  They are my VIP clients.  Each one!!

Another difference is when a client asks "can you also do this or that" I know who to refer them to. I have screened those who I refer and I have worked with them.  This way I know who I am sending my VIP clients to. Thanks to another lesson Carrie taught us.  But, I'll let her tell you more about that.

There is no way I could list each of the wise and wonderful things Carrie has taught me over the years.  I can say each lesson has had a long lasting impact and my life will never be the same.

I wanted to say Thank You, Carrie!  For your patience, wisdom, coaching, and guidance.  It took me awhile... but, I made it!!! Thanks to you.
Today it is a simple question to answer:
I am an SEO Copywriter on Squidoo for Amazon Associates.

I can already imagine that answer being a bit more narrowed yet again.  The best thing about specialization is the 'time' I can spare to keep improving the service I provide.  Rather than having dozens of 'skills' I can focus on my strongest and most enjoyable skill and continue to improve until I am "THE SEO copywriter on Squidoo for Amazon Associates"

Carrie Wilkerson at Blueprint to Financial Freedom November 2008

SEE MORE BAREFOOT TV

Landing Gear, The New Place, and Trusting God With All My Heart

The new place I found after 'exactly' two months on the road is more than I could have dreamed of and continues to reveal blessings after blessings.  I wouldn't have ever imagined having a place where I feel at home, am closer to family than I have been in two decades, and where I am always certain there are more blessings coming into my path day by day.

"Photos, notes, brochures, memories, keepsakes, and so much more will be sifted and organized and sorted over the next few weeks." 40 Day Journey (working title) ♥

Landing Gear

     When I hit my Mother's driveway I had a quarter tank of gas and $1.50 cents.  I was so grateful I made it I didn't even stop to think about what I was going to do next.  I just 'landed' with all of the past two months in my heart (and camera and a ton of memorabilia packed on board to boot).

     I think there are times when we stop and breath.  Suddenly I was safe in my Mother's home, off the road, and catching up with family events I had missed over the years.  Oh my, she was just a baby... now she has how many children?  Stories, photos, memories, and more.  The time away suddenly began to melt and I was home.

The New Place

     A few days of getting to know myself as I relate to my family of origin and then the ideas of being a 'grown up' began to settle in on me.  It is time I found my own place.  Time to fly the coop again, but, this time closer so I'm not so far away I miss everything again.

     I hit the ads, the papers, the internet, and began to make calls and work out how much I could spend.  The few places in what I thought to be my budget were quickly unavailable or the price was raised overnight.  One ad was removed one day and I thought it had been taken, then the very next day it was back and almost twice to price.

     There was one place that I kept calling which kept being available.  I said I would call back in two days... I called back and explained how far I had come to meeting the move in (which was miles away from being close).  Next time I called to say I think I am coming over to see it.

     That day I was moved in.  I didn't have what was needed to move in.  I wasn't even close.  Not only that... the unit I had been hoping for was gone (only hours earlier) and the only thing available was 'more' than the first.  I stepped back, prayed, thought the situation through, then making a leap of faith I said "I Can Do This"

     Next thing I know I'm unpacking my car (with a lot of help) and I'm sitting in my new place listening to the owl outside, and the cat, and the breeze blowing over the orange tree in the back yard.  I am home!

Trusting God With All My Heart

     Now, the business started.  I was determined I would do whatever I could possibly do in order to meet the higher overhead.  In addition to this goal I would also make sure to connect with the community, join a church, get myself settled.  

     My 'to-do' list mounting I put all of my energy into first covering the overhead and in the mean time 'daily' to-do things begin to mount as well.   The writing stopped in exchange for 'work' and I haven't done anything with the photos and cards, or the zillion other travel memories I wanted to share here and for the book.

     I am trusting God with all of my heart that all will be well.

"One of the most amazing things in the Universe is when we 'visualize' something and make room for it, completely letting go of the past, it materializes. " The 40 Day Journey (working title)

How To Fund A Journey - Be Creative

When I was thinking about embarking on a journey across the country I didn't have a dollar to my name.  I had just spent everything in a series of 'catching up on bills' process.  I had just settled into what I thought was another 30 days of grace (where I could work to raise enough to address the next month's demands).

So, was I stuck?  I could have sat on the couch and went through the grieving process.  I could have reflected from the vantage point I had.  I could have let myself believe I was stuck and I might have even rationalized it all ... but something in me kept whispering "there is a way"  and more compelling there was a voice within me saying "There is much work to be done before you make decisions about the next chapter in your life"

It is as if the new doors were not open yet, but, the truth is the Journey IS the new door.  It is a time to contemplate and grow.  To stretch my perspective, to share and learn from others, to process the old and welcome the new.

I came up with the idea to ask for sponsors. Well, I had a dream really.
Would you give a lens?
Would someone else buy it?
Would this collaboration collectively create a resource which would fund a few tanks of gas?

As I thought this process through and received a few sponsors I began to grow in faith.  I took a sheet of paper and started looking at the possibilities.  I evaluated the miles (before even knowing where anyone I would meet up with was located) and I came up with a 40 Day plan.  Each day would be assigned one sponsor (or a collaborative sponsorship).

As people began to reply, lenses began to materialize, sponsors showed up... then another thing began to happen... people started asking to 'be a part of this'

I started receiving invitations to stay with people.  Note: Everyone of these folks has been close friends online for several years.  They have worked closely on projects, in communities, etc.  I don't think I was aware of how many people I had built amazing relationships with until the messages began to arrive.

It turned out, my journey map was relatively close to the locations of people sending invitations.  Some were right on the exact path I had originally drafted.

The next set of miracles would be every step of the way there were resources materializing and things I didn't even know I would need were coming into the picture right before I needed them.  A sun hat, travel goodies and snacks, a camera, an umbrella, a swim suit, funds for other bills (bills continue to happen even when you are on the road), the list seems to go on and on.

The journey has been an amazing lesson in faith.
The journey has been an opportunity to meet in real life with people whom I have developed life long friendships with.
The insight of these amazing friends, along with prayer, contemplation, and an open honest heart, have given this journey so much more than I could have ever imagined.

Any thoughts I may have had in thinking I was 'running away from the problem' have been replaced with thoughts like 'this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life and this journey is preparation to enter into that chapter with a more developed perspective on everything'

Learning to ask for help in a way that will benefit every participant is a challenge. But if you think about it there is something (possibly many many things) you can offer and coordinate in order to meet the resources needed to embark on your journey.  You journey may not be a 6000 mile drive across the country (which by the way I am at mile 3950 so far -- and completed day 22 of the 40 days), your journey may be closer to home.  Getting out and meeting someone who needs you as much as you need them to accomplish the next chapter of your life.
Update: I wrote this blog post to auto post and it didn't (I have more to learn about that process).  In the meantime I have another 1000 miles behind me and day 40 will ''happen'' on June 28th.
DAY TWENTY SIX
Beach Hats For Women
andBathing Suit Cover Ups For Women 
Donated by  GypsyOwl 
Purchased by  Joan4 
DAY TWENTY SEVENThis Weber Cooker Does All The Work For You
Donated by Joan4 and Reed and Barton Jewelry Boxes - Best Gift for a Lady
Donated by Joan4 
Purchased by TeaLady
DAY TWENTY EIGHT
What is your dream?
DAY TWENTY NINE
Remarkable Robot Vacuum Cleaner  andPrecision Digital Kitchen ScaleThank You KathrynGrayson On Squidoo