No Time For Tears -- Until We Meet The Sea

There have been tears.  Most of them have been while driving.  I often talk to myself and to God when I am driving and what better time to contemplate the events of the past few weeks?  There have been 2001 miles of discussions with myself.


I might have sat with these feelings in a different way.  I think the reason this 40 Day Journey is important is so I can take my time with them.  Not sit on the couch in front of the television watching sad movies (tho' that kind of approach can be a great release)... I felt I needed a more proactive approach to sort through the changes and fully evaluate what choices to make here on out.


There is still that lingering thought " ... I am not lovable or worthy of a committed relationship" which creeps in at odd and unexpected moments.  There are still echos of hearing "... since we are not a couple anymore" from someone who I have been committed to in sickness and in health, richer or poorer.  I will not deny the feelings, but, I will ask that they engage in this journey before jumping to a decision.  


I know when I am sitting on the beach and listening to the waves while the seagulls fly into the sunset I will have a better grasp of who I am now.  Who I am becoming.  Where to go next.  That question 'Where will the next chapter of my life unfold?' will be answered and  I will know. 


Day 11 Begins May 21st
Day 1-10 May 1-10th
Day 11-20 May 21 - 30
Day 21 - 40 June 11- 30
Beyond The 40 Day Journey ... More Will Be Revealed


Become a Sponsor http://www.guidetosquidoo.com/40-day-journey.html

To Be Continued...
Deb Bryan (aka GypsyOwl) embarked on a leap of faith 40 Day Journey on May 1, 2012 and with the help of sponsors, hostesses, and God's Hand, is taking a break from making decisions about the next adventure in life by having an adventure.  From May through June (traveling 20 days a month) she will explore the country and meet people she has worked with online.


Sponsors: Please visit and support the 40 Day Journey Sponsors (see more sponsors HERE)

DAY ELEVEN -- SPONSOR
Office Furniture For Children
by GypsyOwl 
Purchased by Joan4

Faith, The Umbrella, and Lavender Bath Salt

Crossing many bridges on the '40 Day Journey' as I find my way to the place where I will make a decision about my future.  There are many times along the way when I have felt there is no way for me to see what lies ahead.  Then I ponder the fact there are so many bridges in my path and I know God has a plan for me much bigger than I could ever imagine alone.


This journey reveals small clues along the way.  I realize from previous experience the 'ideas' I have may only be a way to keep me from being distracted.  This time is for self discovery.  Later I will have plenty of choices to make regarding where to go from here.

The major reason, I am finding, for this time of waiting (the 40 Day Journey) is to find out more about myself and my relationship with life.  So my decision later isn't driven by fear or by resentment.  I need to completely let go of the past in order to make room for the future to unfold.


Faith
While I may not have any idea where this journey will take me... I am growing in faith and know where ever I am God is with me.  And more so when things are most challenging.  He will grow closer as much as I need and allow him to.


The Umbrella
There may have been rain in the forecast, but, I wasn't aware of it.  Only hours after I was gifted the umbrella the rain began to fall.  The gift was more than just am umbrella.  It was a gesture of protection.  The kind of caring God shows for us when preparing us for challenges.  The umbrella will keep me dry when the rain falls and is a symbol of a protection I can count on no matter what is going on in my life I have a guardian watching the forecast and looking out for me.  
  
Lavender Bath Salt
Relaxation comes from creating with a friend and then enjoying the creations...especially when we are talking about making bath salt.  We created some amazing memories as well as bath salts and we each can enjoy them again and again.  


Sharing this experience brought us joy and we will remember it for a long time.  We created relaxation.  This is a good reminder whenever we are stressed.  Step back and take care of yourself.  The challenges will be less stressful when we are well rested and relaxed.  If you find yourself tempted to make a choice under stress then step back and wait (unless you are in immediate danger).  If the decision can wait, then, wait until you relax and rest.  Making decisions when calm will ensure you have taken the time to evaluate all of the perspectives and angles.

To Be Continued...
Deb Bryan (aka GypsyOwl) embarked on a leap of faith 40 Day Journey on May 1, 2012 and with the help of sponsors, hostesses, and God's Hand, is taking a break from making decisions about the next adventure in life by having an adventure.  From May through June (traveling 20 days a month) she will explore the country and meet people she has worked with online.

Sponsors: Please visit and support the 40 Day Journey Sponsors for Days Eight - Day Ten (see more sponsors HERE)
DAY EIGHT -- SPONSORS
Hello Kitty Digital Camera 
Donated by Joan4 
Purchased by Ravenko  
DAY NINE -- SPONSORS
Cashmere Sweaters
Donated by Joan4 
Purchased by Ravenko   

DAY TEN -- SPONSOR
Contribution by mbrownauthor 

Start Your Engines...

On your mark...Get set... GO!


The cross country road trip begins.  There is a sense of anxiousness which seems to tighten my chest and I'm holding my teeth clenched as if I'm biting down on a leather belt getting ready for surgery without anesthesia.


Aside from those and numerous other feelings... 


I realize it is time to let go.  Make a decision to keep my mind clear and my eyes on the road.  Try to hear and see what this journey has in store.  What is the Universe going to share with me?  What will God be guiding me to next?


The last checklist is nearly completed and half of the trip is sponsored (there will be plenty of time to coordinate more sponsors when the time comes).  


Everything will work out.  


I have learned there are still some things I am 'attached' to in this life and I have learned why there is no reason to be.  The past two weeks have taught me, reminded me, of this truth...  

Everything I need will be right where it is needed at exactly the right time.  I can let go of it now and it will materialize again later down the road right when I need it.  

All I need to do now is turn the key...
TO BE CONTINUED...
SPONSOR THIS JOURNEY 
Donate a Lens -- Buy a Lens -- Make a Contribution 

Letting Go – With or Without Hesitation – One Day at a Time

Letting Go – With or Without Hesitation – One Day at a Time

Deb Bryan – GypsyOwl May 1, 2011

I had a conversation with God about my feeling stuck. One comment by someone I do not even know sent my emotions out of control. I prayed to move past, to let go. It was the last thing on my mind before I tried to sleep and the first thing when I awoke. I prayed. I listened. I had a conversation with God.

I had a feeling it was important I share it.

This is it…

Me: Please help me let this go. I thought I let it go before, you helped me with this. I remember clearly.

Lord: Yes. I did, you did.

Me: Why does this keep happening?

Lord: Letting go is for one day, then, the next day you will need to choose to let it go again.

Me: Why Lord? I’m willing. I am sure I have let this go for more than one day and it did not come back again.

Lord: It may have seemed that way because each day as it passed by for you to choose, you let go again without hesitation.

Me: So what about yesterday, last night and this morning? Why have I decided not to let it go without hesitation now?

Lord: How do you know you haven’t let it go?

Me: I’m crying, angry, feeling way too much … it is hard to put into words.

Lord: Good signs you haven’t made a decision to let it go today.

Me: I just want to let it go forever! That’s it; I choose to let it go forever!

Lord: On Earth everything is ‘One Day at a Time’

Consider, that which you choose to hold on to and that which you choose to let go, are like the clouds passing overhead. They are not moving alone…sometimes the wind carries them and sometimes they are moving because the Earth is turning.

You could say they are floating by and to “let go” is a bit like the earth rotating without hesitation.

On the other hand; when we do not let go it is a bit as if the Earth stopped as we tried to hold on. If the Earth stops rotating gravity will cease, things will begin to shift and the Earth would begin to come apart at its core.

Me: Ok. I know what holding on and attaching to anything feels like. Why can’t I let it go today as easily as you described. I’ve been doing it many days in a row without hesitation.

Lord: Every now and then you choose to remember what it was like to be attached to this or that. Then we have this talk and you let go again. Then your gratitude about having the choice is renewed and deepened (again).

I got out of bed to write this down. A couple of times I thought to edit this or that and realized what I was changing actually changed the meaning. So, I left it just how I jotted it down the first time.

Then I found this quote on Facebook posted by my dear friend Deaquelynn (of Quelynn, Inc. http://www.facebook.com/QuelynnInc ) she said

“Consistency is key to the breakthrough!”

I believe the answer is to let go each day without hesitation ‘consistently’ and on those days when hesitation creeps in, the answer is to accept ownership of the hesitation as part of our process and make the choice to let go ‘out loud’ then transition back into letting go without hesitation as we embrace the gratitude that we have more hesitation free days than we did in the past.

Honestly, there was a time when hesitation free letting go did not exist and each day was buried under the previous day’s frustrations, discontent, and unhappiness. Letting go was the exception and usually required pretending I had let go (distracting myself with entertainment). Pretending to be serene is hard work!

Overtime, as I practiced forgiveness and letting go, true serenity began to last hours at a time. Then, before I knew it I would have several days of serenity in a row. Then weeks, months… yes, even years. Letting go has made itself a consistent part of my life and now and then when I struggle it is good to know it is also a part of the process and even if I don’t remember … the LORD is always ready to have this talk with me again whenever I need Him to.

I hope this conversation has been helpful to you as it has for me. Brightest Blessings Deb Bryan (GypsyOwl) http://www.facebook.com/GypsyOwl